Definitions:
- Jennmoe -> materialistic and shallow, tendency to exaggerate and say stupid but funny things; would be excellent reality show contestant except for lack of plastic body + fake hair + annoying laugh.
- Los Angeles -> collection of people like Jennmoe with stores for rich Jennmoes
- C's family -> lives on one of those moons orbiting Saturn, only occasionally aware of existence of Earth
- Rockband 2 -> the ether that connects us all
What Happened:Jennmoe -> Los Angeles -> see C's family for 1 week -> Rockband 2.
So I like to have a Plan A and a Plan B, and run both simultaneously, preferably with Plans C and D as well. But I didn't plan the clambake.
The west coast winter seaweed-less pit-less clambake started out well with the creation of cole slaw...
But then Plan A, the obtainment of clams, failed. We blame Costco. But really I blame the lack of a Plan B, C, or D.
So then we (C's brother/wife + us) had to make clam chowder and crab cakes, obtaining the recipes via 2 iphones and buying out the store's supply of canned clams.
Also I had to squeeze 15 pounds of lemons for the singapore slings. This took an hour. I then checked out juicers at Crate & Barrel - not a lot of technological advances in amateur citrus juicing.
[Not shown - picture of other family members making food]
The rather haphazard planning resulted in an excess of food, in turn resulting in the last minute inviting of random people. We ended up with 35 people who don't eat food, and a lot of leftovers.
Appetizers: smoked trout w/creme fraiche, some type of relish w/artichoke hearts, prosciutto on mashed green peas w/ cream cheese, mashed white peas w/ balsamic vinegar and arugula, and salmon pinwheels. Looking back, I realized that 3/4 appetizers involved creamy cheese things. You don't realize this though when each appetizer is independently awesome.
Rest of the menu: clam chowder, crab cakes w/ extra crab, sausages, cole slaw, spinach salad, sweet baked beans, potato salad, baked yams, and roasted apples w/toffee and butter. Again, thats a lot of mayo-based dishes....you don't realize this when each item is awesome.
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Jennmoe's parents then came down for a funeral in San Gabriel. It's a funeral where no one's sad to see you die, they're just sad you didn't leave a will. He died on Dec 24, and was buried Dec 31. If it were me, I'd want my funeral on Jan 1, just so my death would taint the new year.
[Not shown - picture of Norcal Asian parents dining with Socal non-Asian parents at
China Islamic] Really, who can object to soup and bread?
Walk through the LA Dept of Water/Power's annual light show. This panel shows the firefighters putting out the fire at Griffith Observatory. It shows our tax dollars are going to a real cause - creating light shows that reflect the events of the last year. I want that person's job.
[Not shown - New Year's resolution to swear off red meat]
[Not shown - New Year's resolution broken]
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New Year's Day Desert Walk: Because I wanted a picture of sand dunes really really bad.
Spoiler: There are no sand dunes. But lots of Joshua trees. And I guess I wanted pictures of them too.
Two mile walk north of Lancaster.
I like it when the boy scouts put out the rocks marking the trail for me. This is especially important in deserts.
Joshua tree. C's dad told me they're related to lilies, and aren't actually trees. See, this is the one fact I will remember about Joshua trees and will repeat to you every time we go on a Joshua tree hike.
Scale - C's mom and 80+ year old grandmother below. This is a 'moderate' hike. Jennmoes can't do strenuous hikes.
View of nothingness. Note how you can't take this walk most of the year because there's no shade.
Here, embedded deep in the blog, is the picture of my ring. I don't have an awesome engagement story, but I have an awesome ring story. You see, as an ill-informed wannabe nytimes brainwashed liberal, I bought into the diamonds are covered in blood argument. Someone like me would go for cubic zirconia or a non-gorilla killing gem or perhaps one of the Canadian diamonds advertised by polar bears. However, C, brainwashed by DeBeers, decided that I had to have a diamond. Therefore, he got me an antique diamond. That's a diamond that people have already died for, so you have to use the stone or it's like those people died in VAIN because their spirits are living in the diamond and through you they live on.
Tumbleweeds near where we were almost killed by a corgi/pitbull feral dog. I do not recommend this mix.
And of course what's an LA trip without
Crumbs Crummy Cupcakes, located near Sprinkles in Beverly Hills. Here's the exact conversation overheard at Crummy's.
Douchebag customer w/ douchebag goatee: "So give me the story on your cupcakes"
Douchebag service man in tight pink shirt: (looks irritated at the douchebag, realizes he himself is a douchebag, and confronted with his own image, is stunned into silence)
Douchebag customer: "Sell them to me"
Douchebag service man who's one degree too metrosexual: "Well we're based in Manhattan and we make cupcakes."
(silence)
(more silence)
Jennmoe thinking: You walked into the store, you brought your plastic girlfriend, you're going to buy cupcakes.
C thinking: I hate LA.
Happy 2009.
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