12.13.2008

Back to Basics

You can move 500 miles, but you can't outrun your problems.

Car overheated. No one's home. Don't know anyone within a five mile radius. No, not even vaguely. Lonely dinners shared with the cat. Fifth time this year?

Luckily the fridge is stocked. So I cook. Meals fashioned out of the contents of the cupboard; that's how you learn to utilize every ingredient, take away the car. I imagine somewhere, there's someone who enjoys fixing cars but can't and won't cook. You and I, we should meet.

Basic Mandarin Orange Cake, in my one awesome Crate & Barrel bowl. It's one of those cakes you make for PTA meetings when you don't really want to go all out, but still want to be a step above the people who bring store bought cookies.

Cuz you know, all professional women can whip up a fine meal on a moment's notice. And if you can't, well, you and by extension your child can't keep up with the rat race. Epic fail.


Chocolate/peppermint cookies. If I see you this holiday season, this is your gift. Remember it's the thought that counts, and it takes a lot of effort to make icing with just a fork and bowl. And please don't give me that box of drugstore candy to reciprocate. Especially if the next sentence is, my wife/mother/girlfriend is an uber chef but she's too busy being successful at work to cook. SEE ABOVE SENTENCE ON RAT RACE EPIC FAILURE.


Chicken w/ scary foreign Madras curry powder and really old spinach, broccoli and potatoes reduced into mushy forms.


Chicken with really scary red Thai curry powder, coconut milk, same old broccoli, a can of mandarins and badly made rice.


Not pictured: obvious lack of skill in making Chinese food with kitchen stocked with Chinese ingredients and cupboard full of Chinese spices.