Are we really Chinese?

Pictures from Chinese New Year Party #1: desperately pretending we didn't sell out to another culture. Was I ever not whitewashed? And does anyone care?

View from relative's house - out to salt ponds towards Moffet.



One Japanese bobtail + One Wii



Half a cousin + some lego houses



Me + dinner



Cupcake cake (birthdays too)



Buddhist Temple in San Jose. First time I've gone because I feel like I need to start this year off on the right foot. It's quite chaotic.



You can find little serene moments if you try hard enough.



Happy Year of the Ox.

By July 1st, 2009, I will have a dog(s)

The question is, which kind?

Golden Gate Kennel Club dog show this weekend @ the Cow Palace. First time I've been here.



My choices for future Yellowcat dog, in order:

1) Newfoundland. Tops out at 150lbs, a "giant" breed, dies in 6-10 years because its too big for life.

Show newfies are young & small & very sweet.



Drools a lot. Possibly too large for a non-ranch residence.



2) Rottweiller. Here's me w/one. No one else approves of the Rottweiler except me, and this includes homeowner's insurance/renting policies.



3) Any other breed of giant dog, possibly . . .

St Bernards.


Great Pyrenees.



Tibetan Mastiff. They can get to 160 pounds.
[not shown; not seen at show]

4) I could also accept any dog capable of pulling a sled, like the Alaskan Malamute. They are judged according to their ability to pull sleds.



btw: newfs can also pull carts. see newf youtube video.

C's dog picks.

1) The no-tail Corgi in red/white. C's never had a dog so he thinks we shouldn't start with the giant breeds.



They're so friendly they just jump on strangers. They can't protect me like the rottweiler. C thinks friendly dogs are a plus.



2) Beagle. This also sums up C's entire experience with dogs. He met a few corgis and lived with a beagle for a few months. Oh no he also housesat a massive black dog once, so massive black dogs are also out.

[not shown. how you miss a beagle at a dog show, beats me]

3) Golden Retrievers. C thinks these are still a little large, but likes their stupid smiling friendly faces.


They are a little small for me.

Dogs I used to have:

1) Duchess my English Springer Spaniel. These show dogs are half her size.



2) Leo the sheltland shepdog. Bunch of shelties here in the showring. They're also about half the size of my dog.



Giant Dog I will never own:

1) Giant poodle.



No pictures of toy dogs or terriers . . . not my kind of dog. Plus it was really really crowded.

So what kind of dog will I get? Find out in a few months!

Roll!!

She rolls for hours every day on this strip of carpet outside.


Enlarge to see veins on her ear.

Providing Value or Yellowcat Crazy Truth #201

The hardest part of unemployment/underemployment is trying to avoid curling into a shell and becoming socially isolated and generally disagreeable.

Put another way, don't be like these people:

But “the husbands become what I call ‘clickers,’ ” Ms. Reiss said. “These are unemployed men who sit on the couch all day, holding the remote and watching TV, unable to step up and take over some of the household tasks and chores associated with raising the kids.”

The guy in this rather unconvincing article solved this problem in part by creating a blog and self-branding. I wanted to do something similar. Except he's an investment analyst and awesome. He's probably a little peeved that the article is classified as "fashion" instead of "unemployed investment analyst."

I'll tell you I'm transitioning from wannabe lawyer, to potential future holder of short term assignments/barely gainful employment. But the other side of the equation includes trying to be a fun and sociable person not defined by employment, remembering to do housework, making cheap but healthy food, and cutting out all excess spending. And that stuff is hard.

Ultra-Fuzzy

Ultra Fuzzy with Super Lens on Super Camera, not taken by me.

Clambakes, Plan B, and the End of the Year

Definitions:

• Jennmoe -> materialistic and shallow, tendency to exaggerate and say stupid but funny things; would be excellent reality show contestant except for lack of plastic body + fake hair + annoying laugh.


• Los Angeles -> collection of people like Jennmoe with stores for rich Jennmoes


• C's family -> lives on one of those moons orbiting Saturn, only occasionally aware of existence of Earth


• Rockband 2 -> the ether that connects us all

What Happened:
Jennmoe -> Los Angeles -> see C's family for 1 week -> Rockband 2.

So I like to have a Plan A and a Plan B, and run both simultaneously, preferably with Plans C and D as well. But I didn't plan the clambake.

The west coast winter seaweed-less pit-less clambake started out well with the creation of cole slaw...
But then Plan A, the obtainment of clams, failed. We blame Costco. But really I blame the lack of a Plan B, C, or D.

So then we (C's brother/wife + us) had to make clam chowder and crab cakes, obtaining the recipes via 2 iphones and buying out the store's supply of canned clams.

Also I had to squeeze 15 pounds of lemons for the singapore slings. This took an hour. I then checked out juicers at Crate & Barrel - not a lot of technological advances in amateur citrus juicing.

[Not shown - picture of other family members making food]

The rather haphazard planning resulted in an excess of food, in turn resulting in the last minute inviting of random people. We ended up with 35 people who don't eat food, and a lot of leftovers.

Appetizers: smoked trout w/creme fraiche, some type of relish w/artichoke hearts, prosciutto on mashed green peas w/ cream cheese, mashed white peas w/ balsamic vinegar and arugula, and salmon pinwheels. Looking back, I realized that 3/4 appetizers involved creamy cheese things. You don't realize this though when each appetizer is independently awesome.


Rest of the menu: clam chowder, crab cakes w/ extra crab, sausages, cole slaw, spinach salad, sweet baked beans, potato salad, baked yams, and roasted apples w/toffee and butter. Again, thats a lot of mayo-based dishes....you don't realize this when each item is awesome.

--------------------------

Jennmoe's parents then came down for a funeral in San Gabriel. It's a funeral where no one's sad to see you die, they're just sad you didn't leave a will. He died on Dec 24, and was buried Dec 31. If it were me, I'd want my funeral on Jan 1, just so my death would taint the new year.

[Not shown - picture of Norcal Asian parents dining with Socal non-Asian parents at China Islamic] Really, who can object to soup and bread?

Walk through the LA Dept of Water/Power's annual light show. This panel shows the firefighters putting out the fire at Griffith Observatory. It shows our tax dollars are going to a real cause - creating light shows that reflect the events of the last year. I want that person's job.

[Not shown - New Year's resolution to swear off red meat]
[Not shown - New Year's resolution broken]
-----------------------
New Year's Day Desert Walk: Because I wanted a picture of sand dunes really really bad.
Spoiler: There are no sand dunes. But lots of Joshua trees. And I guess I wanted pictures of them too.

Two mile walk north of Lancaster.

I like it when the boy scouts put out the rocks marking the trail for me. This is especially important in deserts.

Joshua tree. C's dad told me they're related to lilies, and aren't actually trees. See, this is the one fact I will remember about Joshua trees and will repeat to you every time we go on a Joshua tree hike.


Scale - C's mom and 80+ year old grandmother below. This is a 'moderate' hike. Jennmoes can't do strenuous hikes.

View of nothingness. Note how you can't take this walk most of the year because there's no shade.

Here, embedded deep in the blog, is the picture of my ring. I don't have an awesome engagement story, but I have an awesome ring story. You see, as an ill-informed wannabe nytimes brainwashed liberal, I bought into the diamonds are covered in blood argument. Someone like me would go for cubic zirconia or a non-gorilla killing gem or perhaps one of the Canadian diamonds advertised by polar bears. However, C, brainwashed by DeBeers, decided that I had to have a diamond. Therefore, he got me an antique diamond. That's a diamond that people have already died for, so you have to use the stone or it's like those people died in VAIN because their spirits are living in the diamond and through you they live on.

Tumbleweeds near where we were almost killed by a corgi/pitbull feral dog. I do not recommend this mix.

And of course what's an LA trip without Crumbs Crummy Cupcakes, located near Sprinkles in Beverly Hills. Here's the exact conversation overheard at Crummy's.

Douchebag customer w/ douchebag goatee: "So give me the story on your cupcakes"

Douchebag service man in tight pink shirt: (looks irritated at the douchebag, realizes he himself is a douchebag, and confronted with his own image, is stunned into silence)

Douchebag customer: "Sell them to me"

Douchebag service man who's one degree too metrosexual: "Well we're based in Manhattan and we make cupcakes."

(silence)
(more silence)

Jennmoe thinking: You walked into the store, you brought your plastic girlfriend, you're going to buy cupcakes.

C thinking: I hate LA.



Happy 2009.

Pictures of Holiday Food

Mushroom stand. Most popular place at the farmer's market.

Christmas Eve hotpot. We're estranged from the Americanized side of the family so we didn't get to go to their party (and you thought I was whitewashed). I think they went to church or did something equally wholesome. Meanwhile we ate our shrimps with the heads on.


The Yellowcat made Christmas dinner. The effort included a two hour long internal argument..do you assemble the smoked salmon appetizers, forcing Asian people to consume capers and cheese, or do you set it out and hope people won't mistake capers for peas, ignore the cheese, and gorge on fish? Unexpectedly easy solution: The Yellowcat's family neglected to inform her that the guests were professional chefs. So that's why no one wanted to cook. . . At least they knew about capers...

Dessert: Apple Calvados Tart It's got that wow factor when hot, mediocre when cold. I made it extra sour w/limited sugar.

Someone needs to teach me how to pair wines with food.

Next stop: LA for 1 week, starting with the clambake engagement party!

Cold

It's cold. California cold.

Let me show you.

Back to Basics

You can move 500 miles, but you can't outrun your problems.

Car overheated. No one's home. Don't know anyone within a five mile radius. No, not even vaguely. Lonely dinners shared with the cat. Fifth time this year?

Luckily the fridge is stocked. So I cook. Meals fashioned out of the contents of the cupboard; that's how you learn to utilize every ingredient, take away the car. I imagine somewhere, there's someone who enjoys fixing cars but can't and won't cook. You and I, we should meet.

Basic Mandarin Orange Cake, in my one awesome Crate & Barrel bowl. It's one of those cakes you make for PTA meetings when you don't really want to go all out, but still want to be a step above the people who bring store bought cookies.

Cuz you know, all professional women can whip up a fine meal on a moment's notice. And if you can't, well, you and by extension your child can't keep up with the rat race. Epic fail.


Chocolate/peppermint cookies. If I see you this holiday season, this is your gift. Remember it's the thought that counts, and it takes a lot of effort to make icing with just a fork and bowl. And please don't give me that box of drugstore candy to reciprocate. Especially if the next sentence is, my wife/mother/girlfriend is an uber chef but she's too busy being successful at work to cook. SEE ABOVE SENTENCE ON RAT RACE EPIC FAILURE.


Chicken w/ scary foreign Madras curry powder and really old spinach, broccoli and potatoes reduced into mushy forms.


Chicken with really scary red Thai curry powder, coconut milk, same old broccoli, a can of mandarins and badly made rice.


Not pictured: obvious lack of skill in making Chinese food with kitchen stocked with Chinese ingredients and cupboard full of Chinese spices.

The Return of the Prodigal Jennmoe

Jennmoe Drama
Our life has taken on biblical proportions. Is that a sacrilegious claim? Maybe a bit. Almost biblical.

Moe at her last supper, 1 hour before departure.


And then we descended into the Central Valley, covered in fog that never receded, and returned to a land where its so cold the leaves actually change colors and all the shops close at 6pm. Because hell is actually frozen suburbia. C would add that Michigan is also located in hell but its in a different circle of hell.

A life lived once and then lived again. We'll be here, approximately 5 miles from where I grew up, for the next 3.5 years if not longer.

Intermission
People taking my apartment. If the link doesn't work, let me summarize: four people, 2 american eskimo dogs and 1 cat are going to stuff themselves into the condo. That's what happens when you use a third party broker to rent out your unit.

Jennmoe Comedy (Tragedy?)
a warning to all women...do not get engaged or married without first securing a job.

Jennmoe: help me get a job

Non-moe: aren't you getting married?

Jennmoe: we're not married yet and i have to get a job.

Non-moe: you're marrying an mba, you're set.

Jennmoe: i have to support my cat and create an emergency fund to put C into an asylum when i drive C crazy complaining about my lack of a job.

Non-moe: don't worry you're set. you'd just quit and have a lot of babies anyway.

Jennmoe: i don't want to sit at home all day, its like a prison or a zoo or maybe a fishbowl.

Non-moe: i have real work to do, you'll be fine you're getting married, your husband will support you.

Jennmoe: he's insolvent. im living with my parents. my cat has an eating disorder. help me.

(separately, with someone i dislike)

Non-moe 2: you know you're the most narcissistic person i know.

Jennmoe: the world does revolve around me, it has to revolve around someone and the universe has chosen me.

Non-moe2: one day you'll wake up and realize you're just a hollow shell and no one likes you. that day is probably tomorrow.

Jennmoe: 1 in 5 people has a mental disorder. im a narcissus, you're an asshole.

Non-moe2: and thats why i hate palo alto, everyone's so full of themselves, everyone's just like you, ugly, asian, unimpressive but you think you're some hot shit.

Jennmoe: hey maybe i do belong here.